The Callum Charlie Towne Forever Fund
Callum was a healthy little baby, and loved his cuddle's with his mummy and daddy - not as much as we did though. We quickly came to realise who our new boss was and we loved every single second of it! every dirty nappy, every cry for a cuddle and every feed, even at 1,2,3,4 & 5am in the morning - it was ace!Everytime we woke up We felt like all of our christmas's had come at once each time we peeked in the moses basket beside us, realising we really, really did have him in our live's.
On the night when Callum became poorly we never saw it coming, we had gone to bed early to watch a bit of telly in bed and have our much loved cuddle's.''One Born Every Minute'' was on and I was welling up with emotion watching these ladies meet their very own little miracle's, and laughing at some of the thing's other's were screaming - brought back my own memories!
Me and Mike took the night feed's in shift's, and tonight Mike was going first, I got my head down around about 11pm and mike changed Callum and gave him his bottle which he took fine - little gutsy was nearly on 6 ounces now!
At around 2am, Mike came and woke me with Callum, Callum had woken sounding grouchy and had a temperature,we hadn't heard him cry this way before, we tried to comfort him, he normally loved to snuggle right into our chest's, but tonight he wouldn't. we questionned whether we were being panicky new parent's, but just knew that he was definitely not his normal self and decided to take him through to Blackpool Urgent Care Centre.
We were seen around 4:30am, the doctor examined him and advised he had no concern's, he couldn't get Callum to open his mouth to check his tonsil's, but he wasn't worried by this, he just advised maybe he could have a throat infection. He agreed he had a temperature after checking and gave us child's paracetamol and advised us to strip him off once we got home to help reduce his temperature, I told the doctor that Callum's head felt boiling against my arm, he advised babies are hotter than us as adult's and we shouldn't worry about this,he advised us not to worry that he hadn't been able to see his tonsil's or throat either, and that if we were still concerned in the next 6-8 hour's to go see our GP, we were sent on our way feeling relieved that it couldn't be anything serious...the doctor would have known.
When we got home it was around 6am,we followed the doctor's advice, we tried to give Callum a spoonful of paracetemol, we struggled to get him to take it, obviously at 5 weeks old he wasn't familiar with a spoon, we stripped his clothing and tried to get him to settle. over the next couple of hour's his condition didn't improve, he was still hot, he was quiet when he was snuggled in, but I tried to lay him down to nip to the loo and he becme upset - again with an unfamiliar cry and he seemed to be making a different noise with each breath.
It was obvious we couldn't wait the 6-8 hour's we'd been advised, I tried making an appointment with the GP's surgery but they couldn't get us in until 9:50, we both knew that we needed our boy seen before then, it was now 8am, the Same Day Health Centre within the hospital at Fleetwood was just around the corner and was now open, we ran round the corner with him in his pram, we didn't need the car it would have taken longer to load us in and out.
When we arrived at the Same Day Centre,we expressed our concern and we were advised that the GP wasn't due in until 10am, however, there was a sister on site who could look at him for us, the sister again carried out another examination and was satisfied that there was no real concern, we again questionned this, so for peace of mind she advised she could arrange for him to be checked out, up at Blackpool Victoria Hospital by a paediatrician. The sister left the room to go and make arrangement's for us and returned with a paediatrician who she had just, on the off chance bumped into in the corridor and asked her to pop in and take a quick look before we set off.
The paediatrician took one look at Callum and ordered and ambulance, the next thing we were in another room, my lovely baby boy in my arm's with an oxygen mask being held to his face, the room was full of people and I recall her asking if the crash bag was ready - can you imagine our fear, and it didn't end...
When the ambulance arrived we were bundled in and the paramedic's ensured he was as stable as he could be before we set off, I had to hold an oxygen mask against my angel's face on our way. My Callum was delerious, limp and now none responsive.
Upon arrival to the hospital, Callum was taken from my arm's and rushed in as quickly as they could get him in there, We couldn't see our boy , he was surrounded by people as they all got to work, pumping him with drug's and hooking him to IV's etc.
Once Callum was finally stabilised, after hearing that he had nearly arrested, and that he had, had a fit we were told that he was extremely poorly and they believed he could be suffering meningitis, however not confirmed yet. We were advised that we would need transferring to Manchester Children's Hospital, The North West & North Wales Paediatric Transport Service rushed us there.
Again we were told how very poorly Callum was and again, Callum was stabilised and set up with all the same drug's and contraption's...4 lot's of antibiotic's,a sedative, a drug to keep him paralised to stop him fitting, a catheter, the ventilator, and fluid's...can you imagine your baby like that?...We knew each and every one of those pipe's, wire's and tube's were helping him, but, a baby shouldn't be this ill!?
The following day's really are a blur...
He had a CT scan,an x-ray and ultra sound scan's, we were told that there was at that time, 80% brain damage that they could see, and we had three road's to look at, the likely hood was that he wouldn't survive, or he may make a full recovery, the last was that he could have any severity of brain damage in between, however IF he did survive, he may be vegetated,at best extremeley disabled. That moment suffocated us, ripped out our heart's, and probably gave us the true realisation, BUT!we never lost hope in our gorgeous son.
We would still have taken on the world...anything, to save our lovely boy. every time a doctor or nurse-Neurologist or consultant told us we had no hope, we didn't give in. Our beautiful boy gave it his all. We prayed, begged and pleaded with any power's that may be, to save our boy.
Our sweetheart's condition still continued to deteriorate, for a few hour's we thought thing's were looking up, he'd seemed stable and movement returned to his gorgeous body, we later found this was due to seizure activity and nothing more, we were advised we couldn't be too optomistic, but we never gave up hope, hope really is all we were left with.
Callum was taken for yet another CT scan as now he was vislibly swelling, whilst we awaited the result's, we were adamant, no matter what, we were supporting our precious boy, he deserved the best chance, any chance, we didn't care, Callum was and still remain's our world and we would have given anything we could.
Once the result's were through, the consultant took us to a side room to deliver the new's, the second time we'd been in there, but this time we felt stronger, we knew it would be harsh new's, but we also prepared to fight our guy's corner.Only we couldn't fight off the new's he gave...
Callum's brain had swollen so much, he now wasn't able to breath for his self, he'd been on the ventilator the whole time,but we'd hoped he'd eventually be able to come off it. His heart would soon fail...he'd already had to have heart massage 3 time's, they couldn't keep doing it to delay the inevitable, and
one by one his organ's would fail him.
My self and Mike had to walk out of that room, and somehow talk about how we were to let our little man leave us. Our little miracle,our angel, our little piece of heaven in a baby. We'd been told that they could keep trying to revive him until they couldn't no more...that's not fair.We were told we could just wait it out until the next time his tiny heart failed him and then let him die, or take him off the ventilator straight away.
We talked, called family and tried to make sense of it all, but you just can't, how on earth can you make that
decision.
That night our beautiful little man remained stable right the way through until around 8am in the morning, then his heart began to slow right down again, the machine's blur, the nurse's rush...such a gorgeous little creature can't leave this earth in that way.
Where the word's came from I do not know, but, I asked the nurse to free him, take him off the ventilator, off all the tube's and wire's, and let him come with his mummy and daddy, we had't held him for almost a week As much as we'd been beside him every crusifying moment...we'd missed him, and in our heart of heart's we knew we had to say our good bye's, and it couldn't be hooked up, with stuff making a racket and nurse's rushing, it had to be peaceful, and we had to let him know it was ok to now go...you don't need to fight any more precious, me and your daddy are here, and your ok, sleep tight and promise us you'll invade our dream's.
A bed had been brought in for us so the three of us could get in. The three of us laid there, it was peaceful, our boy between us. how we kept it together I'll never know, but some inner strength helped us through...we had to reassure our beautiful baby that we were there, and he was ok...he passed away, right between his mummy and daddy, his perfect place.
Our home now feel's so empty, but not as near as empty as our heart's, No one deserve's to suffer this disgusting, vile, horrific disease, not even the devil! We know we will never ever get over losing our Callum, and to be honest, in a way we don't want to, Callum completed me, he was like the missing piece in the jigsaw of my heart, now I feel like that jigsaw has been broken up, shaken up and a good few of the piece's pinched!
We can't fetch Callum back,no matter how much we pray, BUT I will spend my life raising awareness of this disease, and let's cross our finger's that one day we'll have a vaccine,to atleast try and save other families from the turmoil and terror that it causes.
Callum baby... mummy and daddy miss you, I hope your settled where ever you may be, you turned our world upside down and we loved it, you took a big piece of my heart when you left..I'll come get it one day...love you for ever, mummy and daddy
xxxxxxxx
Miss Jennifer Hilton
January 30, 2012
For a gorgeous baby boy Callum xxxxx
Miss DONNA Hart
January 30, 2012
emma, my heart goes out to you and mike. God only takes to best <3 xxxx
Mrs Julie Lee
January 30, 2012
God bless you all love Dickie Julie and family xxx
Miss Linda Dollin
January 30, 2012
Rest in peace little angel xx
Be strong for each other Mike and Emma xxxx
January 30, 2012
Always love you .. Grandad`x
January 30, 2012
Always love you .. Grandad`x
January 30, 2012
Always love you .. Grandad`x
January 30, 2012
Always love you .. Grandad`x
January 30, 2012
Always love you .. Grandad`x
Mrs karen kennedy
January 30, 2012
Miss Trisha Jayne Leyne
January 30, 2012
My heart goes out to you and Michael, Emma you are an inspiration to us all. R.I.P Callum, beautiful angel xx
Mrs Nikki Taylor
January 30, 2012
A candle for you Callum. Sleep tight x
Mrs Dawn Douglas
January 30, 2012
RIP Baby Callum, taken away far too early. You'll always be in our hearts xxxx Lots of Love xxxx
Mrs Raquel Harvey-Franks
January 30, 2012
Miss A Molyneux
January 30, 2012
Mrs Christine Naden
January 31, 2012
If ever there was a time I wish I had the gift of saying true words of comfort this is it.With love, Chrissie & Den xx
Mrs Christine Naden
January 31, 2012
If ever there was a time I wish I had the gift of saying true words of comfort this is it.With love, Chrissie & Den xx
Mrs Hayley Khatri
January 31, 2012
Rest in peace beautiful Callum. Keep watching over your brave mummy and daddy xx
January 31, 2012
January 31, 2012
Bless you, little angel x
January 31, 2012
Bless you, little angel x
Miss hayley marshall
January 31, 2012
Mrs Emma Reid
January 31, 2012
rest in peace xxx
Mrs rachel wadsworth
February 1, 2012
so sorry to hear this sad news our thoughts are with you from all at addams office supplies
Mrs Tracey Smith
February 1, 2012
My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family on the tragic loss of baby Callum
Tracey Smith (Addams Office Supplies)
Nikki Shaw
February 1, 2012
sending love and best wishes to you emma and mike, your gorgeous little boy has touched a lot of hearts xx
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 2, 2012
Bless you all
February 4, 2012
February 4, 2012
Mrs Eileen Haslam
February 5, 2012
Sleep tight baby callum RIP
Mrs Eileen Haslam
February 5, 2012
Sleep tight baby callum RIP
Mrs Eileen Haslam
February 5, 2012
Sleep tight baby callum RIP
Mrs Eileen Haslam
February 5, 2012
Sleep tight baby callum RIP
Mrs Eileen Haslam
February 5, 2012
Sleep tight baby callum RIP
Miss Tracey Elrick
February 7, 2012
Thinking of you both at such a sad time, rest in peace Callum x
Miss michelle haslam
February 7, 2012
Rest in peace baby callum xx
Mrs Carol Ann Richardson
February 8, 2012
Our thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.
All our love Carol and David Richardson xx
Mrs Tracy Coombs
February 8, 2012
The bonds you made with your beautiful baby boy will never be broken and the love you share will be forever.
All our love and thoughts are with you. Tracy, Paul, Matthew and Daniel xx
Mrs Tracy Coombs
February 8, 2012
The bonds you made with your beautiful baby boy will never be broken and the love you share will be forever.
All our love and thoughts are with you. Tracy, Paul, Matthew and Daniel xx
Miss Michelle Bookesr
February 10, 2012
Mrs Gemma Gray
February 11, 2012
Mrs Gemma Gray
February 11, 2012
Mrs Gemma Gray
February 11, 2012
Mrs Georgina Elizabeth Bailey
February 12, 2012
Godbless you Callum x x x
Mr Steven Pegler
February 12, 2012
Mr Dale Alan Campbell
February 15, 2012
Sweet dreams Callum your in gods hands now love from the Cambo family x x
Miss Jayne McElhinney
February 19, 2012
sleep tight baby Callum. Lots of love auntie Jayne and uncle John xxx
Miss Jayne McElhinney
February 19, 2012
sleep tight baby Callum. Lots of love auntie Jayne and uncle John xxx
Mrs susan wynn
February 26, 2012
love forever nanny and grandpops.xxx
Mrs susan wynn
February 26, 2012
love forever nanny and grandpops.xxx
February 29, 2012
God bless you baby Callum. Sleep tight. And loads of love to Mummy and Daddy. May you find peace.
March 1, 2012
Miss Lauren Beaton
March 13, 2012
Emma, Mike,
I'm so sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your little boy. No parent should ever have to lose a child... my best friend lost her little girl in October and I know the grief is overwhelming. Raising this money and awareness is an amazing thing and will help your Callum live on. I hope you find the strength to face each day and keep your memories of him strong.
Much love, Lauren xx
Miss Jayne Marie McElhinney
December 11, 2012
Sending lots of, hugs, kisses and best wishes to our beautiful nephew Callum on his 1st birthday. You may be an angel in the sky but you will never be forgotten and will always be loved. Lots of Love Auntie Jayne and Uncle John xxxxxxxx
Mr callums daddy
December 25, 2012
happy christmas my gorgeous little man mummy and daddy love you always and forever xxx
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JournalJournal entries?
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My mum is a survivor
My mum is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying
when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand,
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands upon a beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mum
Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others, a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's open door,
I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mum tries to cope with my death,
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her
knows it's her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mum
through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that
Angel protect me forever more
I know that doesn't help her,
or ease the burdens she bears.
So if you get a chance, call to her
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she feels,
my surviving mum has a broken heart
that time won't ever heal.
Posted on May 22, 2013
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »It;s nearly fifteen months ago now...
It's nearly fifteen months ago now,
Since my world came crashing down around me.
To face each day I just didn't know how,
I'd lost my little boy Callum you see.
We'd waited so long for our miracle to come,
And were so overjoyed when we were blessed with our Son.
He's such a beautiful little boy and perfect in every way,
I'd have done anything at all to make God let him stay.
Please God make him better and instead take me!
But, despite all of our begging he didn't answer our plea.
He saw our Callum, so beautiful and pure,
And decided he would take him back up through heavens door.
I gave up on life for a while, I saw no reason to go on,
But, then a ray of hope arrived and I believe a gift from our Son.
Along came our rainbow so beautiful and bright,
To lighten up our days that had been as dark as night.
Our gorgeous Daughter Charlie gave a new reason to survive,
I had to take care of myself now, I had to try and strive.
It's a long road in which I'm travelling, with twist's and turn's along the way,
But, with Callum in my heart and Charlie in my arms I'll always draw the strength from somewhere to face each day.
Love you ittle man xxx
Posted on May 17, 2013
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »I lost my child today
I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief. I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die. I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people, who had come, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
to bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long. I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
" She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today!
Posted on April 4, 2013
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »To My Mother
I see you each time you shed a tear,
I catch it and kiss you, I hope that you know that I'm near.
This place is so beautiful, There's so much to see!
I know that someday you'll be here with me.
The angels were singing when I arrived!
Jesus was there with His arms open wide!
The snow and the rain are just my confetti.
I know you'll be coming and I want to be ready.
When you feel the wind, it's me walking by.
I can run and skip now, I can even fly!
When the blossoms and leaves fall into your hair,
It's me planting kisses, yes, I put them there!
The birds are singing to keep you company,
They're especially for you with love from me.
I know that you miss me and feel so alone,
Until the great day when you finally come home
Please remember as the seasons change from one to another,
I'll always love you. You're my friend and my mother.
Posted on December 8, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »...
When you lose a child, your life doesn't just change. You're shattered on the inside, blown to bits, your heart broken. It takes a long time to come back together again. I'm not looking for your pity. It's better for me to talk than to keep everything all inside. I don't want you to think I'm selfish, but can't you see how much I'm hurting? Sometimes I take out my baby's things...smell them, caress them, hug and kiss them and rock them until the tears stop falling. Please don't turn a blind eye to me. If you think it’s too painful for you, multiply that by infinity and you might have a vague idea of how much pain I am in. I did not ask for this to happen. I do ask for your love and support. If you can't think of anything to say, then just listen to me. Let me borrow your shoulder. Surely you are stronger than I am, and you can help me by simply being there.
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »xXx
Today should have been so different
Just know that we're thinking about you,
missing you,
loving you,
celebrating you,
this side of heaven
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »xXx
Mummy I am in Heaven so please don't shed your tears
I can see you and I love you and I will through all the years
I know you are my mother and none other would I have chose
For even up here in Heaven true love continues to grow.
Daddy I see that sometimes when you are all alone
your eyes get kind of misty and your thoughts they kind of roam
You are thinking of how things would be if I was there with you
all the things you would have taught me and watched me as I grew.
But I still love you my dear parents as if I was there on earth
I remember how you longed for me and looked forward to my birth.
There was nothing you did wrong so please put your minds at rest,
God just wanted to keep me and you know He picks the best.
And one day we will all be together in our castle in the sky
true peace and love and happiness, things money cannot buy
And you can hold your angel and sing me a lullaby
for a parent's love for their children is a love that will never die.
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »To be a man in grief
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave ~
He lost his baby too. . .
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »The Compassionate Friends
I can tell by that look, friend, that you need to talk,
So come take my hand and let's go for a walk.
See, I'm not like the others; I won't shy away,
Because I want to hear what you've got to say.
Your child has died, and you need to beheard,
But they don't want to hear a single word.
They tell you your child's "with God," so be strong.
They say all the "right" things that somehow sound wrong.
They're just hurting for you and trying to say
They'd give anything to help take your pain away.
But they're struggling with feelings they can't understand,
So forgive them for not offering a hand.
I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.
I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile.
I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn,
I'll just stay and listen 'til your night turns to morn.
Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long,
And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong.
So take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare,
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.
See, I owe a debt you can help me repay
For not long ago, I was helped the same way.
And I stumbled and fell thru a world so unreal,
So believe me when I say that I know how you feel.
I don't look for praise or financial gain
And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.
I'm just a strong shoulder who will be there 'til the end.
Someone who will be your compassionate friend.
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »I REMEMBER YOU
The world may never notice
If a rosebud doesn't bloom
Or even pause to wonder
if the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be
Touches the World in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do
Every beating of my heart says
"I Remember You"
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Thoughts
I don't need a special day to bring you to mind,
The days I do not think of you are very hard to find.
Each morning when I awake I know that you are gone,
And no one knows the heartache as I try to carry on.
My heart still aches with sadness and secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you no one will ever know.
My thoughts are always with you,
Your places no one can fill.
In life I loved you both dearly,
In death I love you still.
Posted on December 5, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Merry Christmas, Little One
Jingle bells are ringing
across the town tonight.
Everywhere the children are singing,
Their faces are merry and bright.
It is always a sweet occasion,
Yet this year I feel so sad and blue
Just a short while ago
I had to say good-bye to you.
My precious child
I can't help but wish you were here with me
An ornament with your name engraved
hangs proudly on our tree
I always imagined this Christmas together,
We'd tell you of Jesus and his birth.
God sent His one and only Son,
the greatest gift to earth.
Even though my heart is broken,
I know there is reason to celebrate.
My child you are with Jesus now.
Everyday there is Christmas joy for you
within Heaven's gate.
So Merry Christmas, little one.
I'm most grateful you were given to me,
if only for a while.
I know every Christmas from now on
I will remember you.
I'll thank God for you and smile.
Posted on November 25, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Forever Christmas Night…
All I really want for Christmas is something I cannot have.
A wish from deep within my soul
A longing only those who’ve been there know
For a little face staring at the tree
Dancing with excitement on daddy’s knee
Eyes full of wonder, shining so bright
And a head full of dreams on Christmas night.
There’s something missing as I gaze at the tree
For the thing I want most can never be.
Christmas night is a magical time
It’s mysteries held in a nursery rhyme
Where anything’s possible and dreams do come true
That’s where my heart is waiting for you.
I do believe I’ll see you again
I’ll have to settle for wishes ‘til then
But so long as that day is well within sight
It will be forever Christmas Night.
Posted on November 25, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Christmas Without You
The lights are blinking merrily
The tinsel’s on the tree
It sits there in the window
For all the world to see.
The house is filled with holly
And pinecone scents the air
The Christmas cards keep coming
Each one is hung with care.
The gifts are tied with ribbons red
And topped with pretty bows
I’m done with all the details
As far as Christmas goes.
The fire is softly glowing
I think about your touch
But Christmas isn’t Christmas
I miss you oh, so much.
If I could have just anything
My Christmas wish would be
To wake up in the morning
And find you here with me.
Staring at your picture
I long to be set free
Tonight the tears are streaming
As I hold it next to me.
Flakes of snow swirl through the air
I’m braced for stormy weather
I wait for brighter days ahead
When we can be together.
So hold a place in heaven
Someday when life is through
I’ll be with our Christmas angel
And share the day with you.
Posted on November 25, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Christmas Memories of an Angel in Heaven
There's a very special place
beyond our skies above
somewhere very peaceful
that is full of light and love
that special place is Heaven
where you're free to laugh and roam
it was your time to go there
so the angels took you home
And though you're in our thoughts
each single day throughout the year
at special times like Christmas
we all wish you could be here
now you're in a better place
your soul is laid to rest
safe with all the angels
for they only take the best
Posted on November 25, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »xX Happy Birthday Nanny Noo Noo Xx
Happy birthday Nanny Noo Noo!
Today it's my biggest wish
To come and spend all day with you
And my presence you will not to miss!
Today it is my Nanny's day
And I want you to know i'm close
So right inside your arm's I'll stay
And nuzzle you lot's with my nose :)
I like to see you happy
With your lovely Nanny Noo Noo smile
And if you miss changing my nappy
More fool you! They still smell vile! :)
Nanna Winnie is taking good care of me
She send's you all her love too
And all the rest of the family
Send all of their love to you
You're thought of more than you'll ever know
And looked upon with pride.
Just look at how the family grow's
You did that! with all the love you have inside!
I'm so chuffed that you're my Nanny
And I really want you to know
that of all day's today
from your side I shall not go
I know you may not see me
But I promise I am here
How about you bounce your knee
You might just hear me cheer!
I love you Nanny Noo Noo
I really am alway's by your side
This poem is good proof
I invaded mummy and Daddy's mind!
They had to write it for me
I helped them along the way
I am your Callum Charlie
And I just want you to know in my heart you will stay
They had to do it Just to get
My birthday wish to you
your birthday wishes will be met
With all of the love I have for my Nanny Noo Noo
I am your Callum Charlie
And I promise I'm here to stay
And when you go to sleep at night
That's when we will meet and play
xxxx
Posted on March 14, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »xX :( Xx
When you lose a parent. You lose your Past.
When you lose a spouse. You lose your present.
When you lose a child. You lose your future.
A child that loses a parent is an orphan.
A man who loses his wife is a widower.
A women who loses her husband is a widow.
There is no name for a parent that loses a child,
for there is no word to describe this pain.
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Please Don't be Sad
Mummy please don't be sad,
I miss you so much to.
It's beautiful here,
but I worry alot about you.
I sleep with angels watching me... there is only love up here.
I am never lonely or afraid
because God is so very near.
I walk with Jesus every day,
He is very kind and loving.
Don't worry Mum, He holds my hand
when we cross a golden street.
I never cry or hurt myself,
I see Grandpa every day.
I play and laugh and sing alot
and I hear you when you pray.
Please Mummy, don't be mad at God,
you see He loves me too.
And even though you are not with me,
I am really still with you.
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »For the Daddy...
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave ~
He lost his baby too. . .
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »You're A Special Little Spirit
"You're a Special Little Spirit," the all great Master said,
As he gently caressed the soft brown hair
of the Little Spirit's Head.
"You need to go to Earth to spend some time, you know,
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn, to grow."
The Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed his head,
And from his eye a tear did steal and down his cheek it shed.
"Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here,
You'll hardly know you've been gone.
You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye."
And he wiped the tear and gently kissed
His Little Spirit good-bye.
"I'm back," the Little Spirit whispered,
as he climbed onto his Master's knee,
And the Master said,
"I told you, you would not be long away from me."
And then, the Lord, He noticed still
another tear welled in his eye.
"Why are you so sad, Little Spirit,
whatever should make you cry?"
"I'm glad I'm back," the Spirit said,
"but Master you must surely know,
When your angel came to get me,
I didn't want to go.
I know you said you needed me
and that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little longer earthly trial?"
The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from His knee,
He firmly took the little hand and said,"Come walk with me."
The Little Spirit and his Lord walked slowly hand in hand,
As the Master explained His special part
in the great and marvelous plan.
"Now Lord, I don't mean to argue,
I understand you need me home.
But I left in such a hurry,
I left everyone hurting and so alone.
I didn't let my earthly parents know
how much I loved them so.
I was much too small to tell them,
Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, and in a way so do I.
Not getting to share any more than we did,
how can I ever tell them why?"
"Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy
with the message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore,
I'll watch over your loved ones there.
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong and helping hand.
I'll content and give peace to their aching hearts,
so they will understand.
The Little Spirit looked up at his Master and said
"Thank you for explaining it to me.
And could you please tell them I'm safe and happy
and that someday they'll be here with me."
"Yes," said the Lord with a smile and a nod,
"I'll tell them all that I can."
Then the others came to see the Little Spirit,
as the Lord let go of her hand.
He said, "I'll tell them you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
That I needed the warmth of your perfect soul
to keep Heaven from getting cold."
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Little Angels
When God calls little children
to dwell with him above,
we mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of his love.
For no heartache compares
with the death of one small child
who does so much to make our
world seem wonderful and mild
perhaps God tires of calling the aged
to his fold, so he picks a rosebud before
it can grow old. God knows how much
we need them, and so he takes but few,
to make the land of Heaven more
beautiful to view. Believing this is
difficult, still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows will
always be "Goodbye." So when a little
child departs, we who are left behind
must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Mommy, When I Went To Heaven
Mummy, when I went to heaven,
I took part of your heart.
Just so you will always remember me,
And know we will never be apart.
Mummy, when I went to heaven,
I was not alone.
They were waiting there for me,
The day the Lord took me home.
Mummy, when I went to heaven,
I seen you crying down below.
I tried to touch you,
And let you know I love you so.
Mummy, when I went to heaven,
I know you didn't want me to go.
So the Lord let's me come back once & awhile,
I kiss you just to let you know.
Mummy, when I went to heaven,
They promised you would feel my touch.
I am here for you, mummy,
I miss & love you so much....
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »"Too beautiful for Earth"
If I could have a lifetime wish,
A dream that would come true,
I'd pray to God with all my heart
for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back;
I know because I've tried.
And neither will a million tears,
I know because I've cried.
You left behind a broken heart
And happy memories too.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
An angel In The Book of Life
Wrote down my baby's birth
And whispered as She closed The Book
"Too beautiful for Earth"
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Don't Cry Mummy
I know your heart is broken,
from the pain of losing me...
but Mummy, I’m so happy,
if only you could see.
There are angels all around me,
with flowers in their hair...
this place is filled with beauty,
God’s love is everywhere.
He spared me from the sorrow,
that your earth has come to know...
so please don’t worry, Mummy,
'cause Jesus loves me so.
The light shines brightly,
on my little angel face...
if only you could see me,
your pain would be erased.
Such happiness is waiting,
and one day you will see...
we'll finally meet in heaven,
forever, you and me.
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »On the day God took you
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die.
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys?
With people all around me
I felt alone inside.
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide, I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped away a tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest.
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when?
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I know your resting peacefully,
My precious little one.
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »Without Me
I know it seems long
the days without me,
but it is only for a moment
in eternity.
See my smile, the joy in my
eyes.
Please know mommy,
there is peace in paradise.
Find comfort and peace in the soul
of your heart
and know there will be an end
to the days we are apart.
Try not to hurt too much,
for this is not the end.
One day you'll hold me
in your arms again.
Posted on March 13, 2012
« Next journal entry | Previous journal entry »xX Callum Xx
The moment that you died,
My heart was split in two,
One side filled with memories,
The other side died with you.
I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheeks.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it all the time,
But missing you is a heartache,
That will never go away.
I hold you tightly within my heart.,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.
Posted on March 13, 2012
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i have just read your tribute to your angel. i have also lost my little man although it was 2 and half years ago its like it was yesterday and what you have written brings back memories .You like myself appear so strong but i think sometimes our passion for our children spurrs on our drive. We lost our little man to menningococcle septisemia April 2010 at the age of three years. one day running round the next morning we were at the childrens hospital.We learnt that there are so many good people in the world and with family ,friends and even people we don't know who have supported us in our sons name.They have helped raised a fantastisc amount. keep strong and with people like us we can help raise funds for research for a vaccine.my love to you all as a family. Look on Ryan Johnson forever fund if ever you would like someone to talk to. Keep strong. XX
I am so so sorry that your beautiful baby boy was so unfairly taken from your family,I will definately be supporting this campaign, god bless you all x
Still thinking of you lots and you are in my prayers. A gorgeous baby who in his short time b earth made and continues to make more of a difference than most make in a lifetime.. A truly perfect child sent on a mission, gods messenger. God bless you Callum xxxxxx
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son Callum. This is a tragedy that no one should have to suffer. I pray that God will give you the strength to face the future without him. xx
I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray for god to give you the strength to carry on in your pursuit in raising awareness. x x x x
So sad and I'm so sorry to you and your husband for facing such an heartbreaking time. Life is so cruel!! What a Gorgeous baby boy! Hope that one there will be a cure. Your angel will always be with you both xxxx
I've just come across this from seeing a post with you trying to get a response from Rock FM and I'm now in tears. A friend had her tiny baby diagnosed with tonsillitis and he actually had meningitis so your fight in Callum's beautiful memory is certainly worthwhile. I can't begin to imagine your pain and wish you all the best xx
so sad for you to lose your little angel this awful way, he is at peace now though at least. It was lovely how he was between his mummy and daddy when he left just how he started, but remember he will always be with you x rip little man floaty kisses to you in heaven and hugs to your family xxxxx
So srry fr ut loss xx I lost my baby in cot death 22 yrs ago nd. It seems like yesterday xx my heart. Goes. Out to u nd ur family. Xx RIP Callum. X
What a beautiful little boy. So sorry for ur loss, callum will b with u always shining down on u. Thoughts go out to u all at this sad time xx
I have the most enormous lump in my throat after reading your story. Thank you so much for sharing it. There is no doubt it will help raise awareness about such a hideous disease. I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending you love and strength and a huge kiss to your Angel Callum xxx
Such devastating news Emma and Mike. Your words are truly an inspiration and said from the heart.
Our thoughts are with you often and have been since we heard the devastating news.
As I lost my daughter some years ago at a very young age also, I can truly relate to the roller coaster of emotions that you will encounter.
I am here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on.
Lots of love
Carol and David xxxxxx
rip callum, bless mummy and daddy he is in your heart no matter what xx
Sweet dreams little man. Time to go & play with the angels, this isn't goodbye. Keep watching over mummy & daddy they need to know your with them thorough the tough journey which is called- Grief. Xxxx
heart felt sympathy to you both.
and god bless your little angel
emma and mike im so sorry about the loss of your son callum. thinking of you at this sad timexx
RIP callum xxx
Emma, I am so sorry for your loss. No words can ever express what you must be going through but having read your pages you have shown true dignity and are inspriational to all those around you. I know today wont be easy but i know you have the strength to get through with the support of Mike and your family.
They say they took the good ones young and he was and will be forever more an angel to watch over you all.
God bless him and his mummy and daddy
xxxxx
I'm so sorry. No-one should have to endure this. My brother lost his baby at a week old in July. I know first hand the impact this can have on the whole family. You will find a way through the darkness. He will always be your first born, your first loved little one. xx
Emma + Mike, can't put into words anything that can make you feel any better about the loss of your son Callum. with lots of love, Eileen and John.
Sleep tight baby Callum RIP
So sorry for your loss sleep tight baby callum xx
They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason,
Will change the way I feel,
For no-one knows the heartache,
That lies behind our smiles,
No-one knows how many times,
We have broken down and cried,
We want to tell you something,
So there won't be any doubt,
You're so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.
Emma and Mike - I wasn't lucky enough to meet your gorgeous Callum in person, but in working with his very very proud grandad i feel that through him I had the pleasure of knowing him a little bit. Through the long months and weeks of Callum making his prescense known to his mummy through morning sickness, to the shopping trips and searches for the perfect hats/babygrows/bibs, through the scans and then finally his much anticipated arrival, Callum has been in our hearts. I don't think I will ever see such a proud grandad as your dad and the bond and love that you all have shows just how lucky Callum is, surrounded by love and only love his entire life.
I can't for one moment imagine how empty your hearts are without him, but he has touched peoples hearts and lives far further than you probably imagine.
Thinking of you all, Emma you are an amazing mummy to be doing this for your little rascal. I have no doubt that you will reach and smash your target and in doing so Callum will stay a part of all our lives.
I am so,so sorry that you have lost your precious boy, words just aren't enough. Fly high sweetie pie, some people truly are too beautiful for earth xx
Emma and Mike, you have both been a true inspiration to everyone, i said it months back to you Emma that i have never in my life met anyone like you, so kind, caring and always thoughtful of others, the strength and courage that you have shown is nothing short of amazing. Callum was a gorgeous little man who was loved tremendously by his mummy and daddy. His fight and courage is an inspiration to us all and for his mummy and daddy to raise awareness of this terrible illness to others especially new mums is a fantastic thing to do. I could never comprehend what you and all you family have gone through and if there is anything i can do just let me know, i know you will reach your targeted goal and beyond and will ensure your message is passed to others to donate.
Emma the strength and courage that you have shown is nothing short of amazing, you are a wonderful, kind hearted person, god bless you and Mike and know that your gorgeous little man is watching over you and will continually show you along your life little signs that he is always there.
Good night and god bless little Callum
god bless xxx my thoughts are with you xxx
goodnight and godbless callum you are always in our hearts such a beautiful little boy filled our lives for such a short time now your a little angel RIP sweetheart your mummy and daddy miss you so much love you always from nana noo noo and grandad towne
you are both an inspiration to so many parents, what you have gone through is so heartbreaking, all my love and prayers xxxx
My heart is breaking for u and ur family.callum was absolutely gorgeous and in the end he was between the two most important people in his short little life.fly high gorgeous boy and make sure u look down on mummy and daddy and give them little reminders that ur watching over them xxx
Wow Callum your crusade is already raising a lot of pennies which means people have read your story+become aware of what a horrible thing meningitis is. Well done to you, your mummy and your daddy. Got lots of plans ahead to raise more pennies aswell. Me+Alfie miss you lots xxxx
Emma and Mike....I am in tears after reading your tragic story but I am so inspired by your strength. My thoughts are with you both and baby Callum. I hope your little angel is in a beautiful and peaceful place. My heart and thoughts go out to you. Stacey xxxxx
Such devastating news and such a strong letter said from the heart. My thoughts are with you often and have been since I heard the devastaing news. xxxx
Emma, you are such a wonderful mummy and Callum's memory will live on forever. I will do all I can to help raise money for such an important cause - you are an inspiration. Sleep tight precious Callum xxx
If ever there was a time I wished I had the gift to offer words of true comfort this is it, you are all in our prayers , with love xx
thinking of yous,x
r.i.p little man sleep tight,I just want to say iv read ur story and this is soooo sad , I lost my little boy in November a different way but I feel ur pain as parents , as soon as I can get my purse bk with my cards in I will donate as iv left it in my mum s car, just wanted to say now though ur doing a fab thing by creating awareness. Myself and my husband are too but for our local hospital. Www.just giving.com/Thomas-rygielski1 if you want to read our story . Ur not alone and u will get through this all our angels are playing together awaiting us one day to meet with them again x x
Sleep Tight Angel xxx
You are so brave writing this Em, we're all so proud of you. Still can't believe it, it all happened so fast. Lets hope we hit that target and more. RIP little man xxxx
Goodnight god bless sweetheart xxxxx
Such a sad sad story,i dont even know you and im here in tears. i cant imagine how this must be for you and i send my love and thoughts to you all and special love to your beautiful angelxxRIP LITTLE ONEXX
So so sad this fantastic little boy had to leave so soon emma and mike are amazing and being so possitive, help as much as you can every penny helps :) love to both of u xxx
Please help some good come from this tragedy by donating anything you can afford .. every little helps .. a miracle never came when our family wanted one .. let's help to make miracles happen for others in the future ..
I'm so proud of you Emma x
God bless Callum xxx
No words can express the sorrow there is in my heart for you both , you would have both been such excellent parents , but just because little Callumm is not on this earth don't mean you are not a parent , keep on your fight he will always be with you wherever you go , and take strengh from all that as happened , it is your love for eachother that will get you through , we , Becky and myself will give you all the support in the world , god bless you and baby Callum the brightest star in the sky xx
I have just lit a candle and made a donation for the gorgeous Callum.. As a new parent myself I can only imagine the despair and anguish you are going through, after such elation at an ages entering your life.. I will do anything I can to help, your little boy changed lives forever in his 6 weeks on earth.. The fact his memory will live on and help to save others is simply amazing. God bless you callum, Emma and mike xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Forever in our hearts and minds.
R.I.P Gorgeous little angel Callum Charlie Towne XOXOX
R.I.P Callum, stay close to mummy and daddy, they are so strong and you were such a lucky boy to have such amazing parents xxxxx
goodnight godbless sweet little prince xxxxx
Twinkle bright star I miss and love you very much my heart akes but were goin 2 do all we can 2geva 2 fight so other mummys daddys nanna noo noos grandads aunties uncules familys and friends don't ever hav 2 go thru this 2 xxxx sweet dreams callum charlie towne xxxx
Emma and Mike you so such courage for your beautiful angel. We will continue to support this chairty for Callum monthly and will do everything possible to raise awareness x x x
The brightest star in the sky for us to wish upon. Always in our hearts+thoughts now+forever. Keep looking down on you're mummy+daddy. Love you xxxxxxxxx
- DonationsDonations
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Pancake Day at Ferry Cafe
Justgiving Gift Ais
winnings from the lotto syndicate at work from over christmas
Through Justgiving
Justgiving Gift Aid
Christmas Cards
£353.35 - Monies raised at the Hesketh High School reunion, thanks guys! xx
Donation from Gaz Dean in Additions :)
Justgiving Gift Aid
Through Justgiving
Through Justgiving
Christmas Draw tickets
Raffle at Eddie P's gig at the Boston Hotel
sale of clothes donations
donation
donation
donation
Draw tickets
Justgiving Gift Aid
Donation from Nan
Donation of clothes from Additions Cafe Bar
Money raised by 4DX
With sympathy and best wishes, Richard
donation from Marie in the hospital waiting room
Donations from Family Fun Day @ Typhoons Football Club
collection box in ASDA
Knit and Natter Group
donation
Terry's Copper Jar
Im a friend of Amy davies who is engaged to shaun reader. Im so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous boy and am simply overwhelmed with what amazing work your doing for him.
Keep it up!
Ruth
Raised by the guys who came over from the Rose and Crown, Darton, Barnsley, and the guys at the Strawberry Gardens, Fleetwood by the sale of the football card for Callums Cup.
£50 very kindly donated from Jean our old work friend from her retirement gift. x
Donation
Through Justgiving
Little Callum watch over your mummy & daddy, keep them strong as they do this amazing task raising funds to save other parents the heartbreak they suffer every day. You will never be forgotten sweetheart sleep safe in the arms of angels x
Donation from local spiritualist church in lieu of payment for a reading
I didn't know Charlie but I want to send my love and best wishes to you and your family.
With love from Team Bellamy
£5 donation by Mike's mum's lovely neighbour Margi xxx
£40 kindly donated my my mum's lovely work friends, Michael and his mum, Reg, Alison, Elaine and Michelle xxx
£20 Kind donation from Paula and Vinnie xxx
kind donation's from my mum's lovely work friend and her family, Jacqiu, Terry and family xxx
Donation
thankyou so much to all that attended our little boy's service your kind donation's raised 209.36 - thank's so much xxx
x
£25.00 donation from our lovely neighbours Rusell and June xxxxx
thank's so much to my cuz Dawn and Lee for their donation, much appreciated, and hope your both settled in soon after today's move, love you both xxxxxx
Donation
donation
Rest in peace you special little prince.
Too precious for earth. Xxxx
God bless little one. Play with the angles xx
£20.00 donated by my nan's cousin joyce from Leigh xxx
You are in my thoughts so much. God bless baby Callum x
Your precious boy is being cradled by the angels and he will be with you every day wherever you go. Much love and take care x
sweet dreams baby callum rest in peace xx
With love from all at Fultons, monies collected from Head Office staff and matched by the Company.
With deepest sympathy, regret and respect from us all.
God bless you Callum and may God love u as much as your Mum and Dad did. xxx
RIP little man Callum xxx your memory will live on forever xxx
emma im thinking of u hun i was praying 4 baby callum b4 i knew he was ur little boy rip callum ur flyin with the angels now.xx
a true inspiration, xxx
Rest in piece little angel xx
Thinking of Emma and her family at this sad time Love Joanne & Adam Carling xxxx
Lots of love, Moira
Such a worthwhile cause...rest in peace little soldier xxx
Such a worthy cause and such a sad sad story
I know I don't know you, but I know some of the same people you do and reading you're post, I wanted to Donate. Such sad news, my heart goes out to you. I hope Callum is happy in heaven and will always be your guardian angel.
Thinking of you at this time I have been where you are. Deepest sympathies.Paul Colemans mum x
I have just read your story, I have a son called Calum who along with his sister completes my life - I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are suffering from the loss of your little Callum. I hope you reach your target soon and raise awareness so no-one esle has to suffer the pain you are suffering. Best Wishes. Lisa Matthew
I'm truly touched by this.. no words can express how sorry I am for your loss. If everyone shares the link on facebook and donates just £1 or whatever they can afford your target will be well exceeded. Good Luck with your fundraising by the sounds of it by two special people put on this earth to make a difference x lots of love x
Hard to find words that say what you must be feeling. I hope that these donations help . Keep going Em.
Thinking of you both x RIP Callum
heres only a little bit of something towards a special cause for a special little man callum!! love sarah paul and poppy xx
x x x x x thinking of you all, to your beautiful little angel x x x
Goodnight God Bless Sweetheart xxxxxx
I can't imagine what you have been through, my heart and prayers go out to you both xxx
RIP little Callumxx
Little fighter, Callum. RIP little man xx
A very beautiful baby boy called callum , I remember looking at his pictures and thinking how proud his parents must be as he is one gorgeous baby!! A beautiful boy who will forever be in his parents hearts xxxxxxxxxx
For a brave boy who fought so hard. Rest in peace.
For a beautiful little boy x x x
Total donated: £20,330.89
Target: £15,000.00
Active since: January 30, 2012
Run by: Emma McElhinney
Please click below to light a candle for Callum Charlie Towne. Each candle costs a minumum of £10 and you can leave a message if you choose.
